“The sign of great parenting is not the child’s behavior. The sign of truly great parenting is the parent’s behavior”.
Every wise person of today seems to be unsatisfied of the disarrangement, Confusion, disruption & the Havoc that appears in our social life. But no one is able to diagnose the treatment of this. Every person’s role is determined in our social life but to perform this role, proper guidance is absent. As Iqbal says;
“The destiny of nations is in the hands of individuals”.
We can’t acquite us by paying all the blame on the drawback of educational system. Demerits of our educational system can’t be deny but there are also some duties of parents for the cultivation of their offspring.
The golden rule of parenting is to always show your children the kind of person you want them to be. In the present era to fulfil this duty we lack the proper guidance and training. The need of the real parenting is to get aware of your duties and if one becomes conscious of his duties, Than the father itself writes the book for his offspring that is known as “Mirat-ul-Aroos”.
Our educational, social and domestic system no one pays attention towards the character building. No system is present for this and this fact is no less than a tragedy that efforts on individual level not even prove fruitful. The basic reason for this is the parent’s behavior they force their children and rebuke them to do good things. Under the fear and dread when children do something, it hurts their ego & they built a concept that to show discipline is actually a sign of cowardice. They do it but a war continues inside them that they are hen hearted. They continuously tries to show it that they are brave. Therefore, it is not advisable to prompted children by taking the support of fear. But perhaps we don’t know any other method.
Good parenting is what make good parents. It is because we make good parents a good family, make a good family a beautiful society, and finally we will live in a beautiful world by making a beautiful society. In fact, this is family from which all social diseases originate. As society of tomorrow is born & shaped in today’s family, what kind of society will our children have tomorrow? So, you must have to know what a good parent is, to change the society in which we live. We have to start right now. A good parent is not a perfect parent. Good parents will take care of themselves to look after their children and to convert all this to their children what they get. Teach children the basic values and also aware them to the relationship b/w happiness & values.
Parenting style must allow the children to have better self-understanding. They should directly tell the children how they felt about the children’s ability and results. They should tell the children what has been done wrongly and what should they do. As a result, the children will know better about where they are and where they needs to improve. In this way, they can gain a better self-understanding and self-evaluation and can actively set goals and seek for betterment. Parents shouldn’t care so much about maintaining the children’s self –esteem. I can’t understand why they refuse to tell the children about their bad sides. They constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are. This will make the children unable to realize their true strengths & weakness, thus unable to make improvements. Parents shouldn’t be in a too friendly manner with the children to make them happy. This make the children less conscious of proper behavior to the superior and may cause disrespect. Parents must have to instill a feeling in the children that the failures of the children are the results of the children’s own misbehavior. There is no one to blame other than themselves.
Parents must help children by developing such values as honesty, trustworthiness and self-discipline. These values are as important as to teach them to cross the road safely. These values are their best protection from the influence of peer pressure and the temptations of consumer culture. With their own values clearly defined, your children can make their own decisions rather than imitate their friends or the latest fashions. With games, family activities and value building exercises, Parents can develop a family relationship that would be strong, caring and supportive.
One of the most important things for the parents is to build in children’s mind that all the greatest things of the world can only be achieve by trusting in one’s on self. As Iqbal says;
“Elevate yourself to the extent, that before every destiny
Allah should himself ask Man as to what he desires”
Credits: Afifa Sundas